Shrunken Ned’s Sure-Fire Guide To Tell If You’ve Learned All Of Life’s Lessons

The corkboard cabinet found in the Crew’s Mess Hall of the Jungle Navigation Co. Ltd. Skipper Canteen is well worth the investment of time to peruse through the various postings. Gags a plenty, nods to attractions, advertisements, mailings, and even a little Jingle Cruise action can be found amid the clutter. Perhaps the best words I can leave you with, as we leave our Skipper Canteen safari behind, for now, come from Shrunken Ned.

The card on the board is Shrunken Ned’s Sure-Fire Guide To Tell If You’ve Learned All Of Life’s Lessons. But who is Shrunken Ned? Shrunken Ned, or Colonel Nedley Lostmore, is the Jungle Witch Doctor and brainchild of imagineer, Eddie Soto. Ned is a longtime staple of Adventureland and currently lives in the South Sea Traders shop in Disneyland. For the low, low fee of fifty cents, he will diagnose your ailment, voiced by Soto himself. His prescription cards have become cherished take away souvenirs amongst those who frequent the jungle.

So, Shrunken Ned’s Sure-Fire Guide To Tell If You’ve Learned All Of Life’s Lessons? Just this:

1) Hold mirror up to mouth.

2) Fog mirror.

3) If you succeed you must have learned something, because you’re still alive! 

4) Continue to learn life’s lessons.

I hope you’ve enjoyed our tour of the Jungle Navigation Co. Ltd. Skipper Canteen, but we’ve only begun to dig into the treasures here. Now, get out! I’m sorry, that was rude… please get out.